I’m sure that we’ve all heard the phrase “nobody’s perfect,” but let’s be honest, many of us still try to be. Whether it’s getting “perfect” grades, having the “perfect” body, or keeping up the “perfect” image of ourselves. The pressure to be flawless can feel constant. But here’s the truth; chasing perfection can do more harm than good.
What is Perfectionism?
“Perfectionism is a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable”
Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Perfectionism can be defined as having excessively high personal standards and hypercritical self-evaluations. It’s the unreasonable and self-defeating ambition of getting something absolutely right. This ideal of perfection often involves a fear of failure, an obsessive focus on mistakes, and the belief that one’s self-worth is tied to their performance. These perfectionists inevitably set themselves up for failure.
Psychologists concluded that there are three types of perfectionism:
- Self-oriented – Imposing unrealistic expectations on themselves
- Socially prescribed – Believing that others expect perfection from you
- Other-oriented – Expecting others to be perfect
Self-oriented perfectionism is the most complex type. It can lead to various mental illnesses such as depression or eating disorders. These types of perfectionists base their self-value on their achievements, never feeling satisfied. Socially prescribed perfectionism is the most prevalent amongst us – students. It typically results in anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. Other-oriented perfectionism is the least studied. However, it’s said to increase hostility and a tendency to blame others for, practically, everything, especially regarding their personal shortcomings.
The Problem with Perfectionism
When we have this ideology of perfectionism, we end up in this never-ending cycle of perfection. That “all or nothing” mindset can turn against you in many ways such as procrastination. Ironically, the fear of failure, of not being perfect, can lead perfectionists to postpone projects, as there’s a 100 percent chance of not falling short. By constantly striving for perfection, you’re being mentally and physically drained, leading to emotional exhaustion. Not only does the concept of perfectionism itself lead to mental health issues, but it can also be the entire cause of your poor performances. Sometimes the pressure to be perfect becomes too much to handle. The idea of perfectionism is downright unhealthy considering that it can quite literally break a person.
The Root
Perfectionism can be caused by anything, whether that be from social media, a competitive society, or personal upbringing. Whatever it may be, perfectionistic tendencies often develop early in life, however, it’s not too late to break them.
Managing Perfectionism
- Reframing expectations
Being self-aware and acknowledging this as a bad habit is always the first step to getting better. Understanding that perfection is an unattainable goal will help you get out of your comfort zone and experience growth when you least expect it. Try and rethink whether or not your standards are realistic and achievable.
- Gain new perspectives
As high school students, we should view mistakes as learning opportunities rather than moral failings. By embracing failure and learning from it, you’ll be well on your way to the path of success. Being “perfect” will not get you anywhere, it’s doing your best that truly counts.
- Practice self-compassion
Focus on the effort and learning, not just the outcome. By practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, it can help soothe the fear of failure. This helps support your overall well-being.
- Seek help if needed
Know that it’s okay to have support. Reading this article and advice is one thing, but actually following through with it is another. If your perfectionism is to the point where it’s drastically impacting both your physical and mental health, you should seek out a therapist or other professionals who can help with this deep-rooted psychological turmoil.
All things considered, perfectionism is a misleading trait that can push us to excel, but it can also weigh us down with unrealistic expectations and relentless self-criticism. It promises meticulous hard work and dedication, acting as our motivation, but it also delivers mental health difficulties. By following the steps above and getting a little more insight on what perfectionism truly is, you might eventually be able to break that cycle of perfection.
