Creativity is a sacrifice many choose.
Many great artists have either died very young or simply went crazy. Why? Speaking from a creative mind and some research, I may know one of the answers.
As an artist, no matter how good you may be, you are still trying to improve. Trying to push a creative flow that only releases a trickle. You think something is wrong with you or maybe you’ve lost your creativity. It may not seem like it, but an artistic mind is always at work. It depends on where that work takes place.
Looking at your work, you may not be happy with it, yet someone tells you it’s beautiful. You can’t seem to see what’s so great about the complete trash you just created so you start all over (you don’t wanna know how many shameful times I rewrote this).
I feel that as an artist, you are constantly trying to say something that hasn’t been said. Trying to create what doesn’t exist. So, when you come up with something, you realize just how mainstream you are being by doing what you are doing. You take out the eraser and there it goes.
You may feel like a waste.
Who will ever want to hear what I have to say?
Everything has already been said.
Why did I have to be born into the developed generation?
But, you keep doing it. Maybe you’ll give up. Maybe you don’t want to look at a blank slate ever again. Although, when an artist quits, their soul stays forever. Forever is a long time.
Take David Foster Wallace. He was an incredible writer who seemed to put his soul of fire into every letter he wrote. Tragically, he took his own life in 2008. From what I have learned, he suffered from depression. Yet, his work still thrives today.
Van Gogh had depression, bipolar disorder, episodes of derangement and perhaps more we couldn’t know of unless we looked into his mind. He committed suicide when he was very young, only 37. He produced fine art when he was alive, and is a role model of many artists everywhere even as a dead man.
Okay, so are artists psychopaths?
Perhaps. I don’t know and I’m one myself.
What I know is that artists see the world in unique ways.
But, if artists go through so much, why do they choose to sacrifice being sane to be creative?
Maybe because we love it.
Not being insane (though perhaps some do).
The fiery hope of finding inspiration. The thick sadness of not being able to be creative. Then finally being proud of what you do.
And ending your journey when you please.
Artists leave their mark and it lingers for eternity.
Just think about it. Giving up your soul to bless the world with your talent?
From what I can understand, the artist seems to lose themselves in their work and literally forget who they are. On the bright side, the world remembers who you are.